Grow up, get a job, get married, start a family, buy a house…then what? Do we put our life on auto-pilot and fall asleep at the wheel? Sadly a lot of people do. That’s not the point of life though. We have one incredible opportunity to live every minute of this precious life and it should be lived with intention and joy.
In this episode I have on Marnye Moore who is ex corporate gal turned life coach after realizing she was tied to her life with golden handcuffs. As she describes it “everything was great” until she woke up and realized she was living a life she didn’t really want to be. We’re going to unpack what happens when you realize your life no longer fits.
Tune in to hear:
00:00 Introduction and icebreakers
03:16 What is self-awareness and where do you start?
07:40 How to stop living your life from auto-pilot mode
09:39 What are golden handcuffs and why are they dangerous?
17:20 Is the name of the game “stability”?
20:00 Two of Christy’s favorite books and why
22:11 Best way to create your life, your way
26:10 Life isn’t always the way we thought it was
28:39 Do you actually have the skills to create a new life?
35:35 Focus on the goal or focus on progress?
37:45 How to learn more from Marnye
More about Marnye:
Marnye is a former executive assistant and Girl-Friday. She had lots of opportunity to create and manage every aspect of the office. After years of being behind the scenes and making others shine, she changed course and started applying those same skills to motivational development. Her work is all about your results and your goals. She helps people make decisions about how they want their life to move forward; to create their own success and freedom. What does that look like to YOU?
Free Guide on Embracing Change: https://www.christyfechser.com/guide
Next Level Living Course: https://www.christyfechser.com/course
Connect with Christy:
Christy Fechser 0:00
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of all in the name of growth. I’m really excited today to have Marni more with us. She is a personal growth and mindset coach. And there are so many topics that we could actually talk about today, the one that we are going to talk about is self awareness. But one of the things that Marnie really believes in and one of the things that I also truly believe in it, one of the reasons why we connect so well is that we don’t have to settle in life, for things that we don’t want that we can actually create our life to be what we want it to be. And we don’t have to take other people’s opinions into inventory when we’re creating our life. And I love that about her and her viewpoint on that we may do another episode just exclusively about that because there’s something we’re both very wholeheartedly interested in and helping other people understand So, Marnie, welcome, thanks for coming today.
Marnye Moore 0:51
So glad to be here. Thank you for having me on your show.
Christy Fechser 0:53
Yes. I’m so excited to talk about this.
Marnye Moore 0:56
Oh, yeah, yeah, me too.
Christy Fechser 0:59
Self awareness is also just something that I’m really really, I’ve talked about it in several episodes previously, and is something that I think that people just don’t have enough of. And so it’s good to talk about that. But before we jump into that topic, I’m gonna do a rapid fire kind of give me your answers and they’re all over the place. I will tell you, so your your favorite book.
Marnye Moore 1:19
Oh, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.
Christy Fechser 1:21
Marnye Moore 1:24
Nobody expects that answer. But I love that book. And it’s not a horror story. It’s about man playing God creates a human being and then doesn’t want to take responsibility for it. I thought it was an amazing book. I love that book.
Christy Fechser 1:41
Interesting. Awesome. I’ve never had that answer before. So that’s fun. Okay, chocolate or vanilla. Chocolate. Favorite destination?
Marnye Moore 1:52
Oooo. Somewhere in Europe it’s going to be Paris or Tuscany.
Christy Fechser 1:56
Hmm, you’ve never been to either, but I would love to go to Tuscany for sure.
Marnye Moore 2:00
Yeah, I’ve been to Paris but never Tuscany in the Greek Isles are not far off of that list. Either. Athens. You know what, you’re in Tuscany.
Christy Fechser 2:07
It’s just kind of like, once you’re in Europe, literally. It’s just like, all there. Right?
Marnye Moore 2:13
Christy Fechser 2:15
Okay, and your favorite thing to do to relax?
Marnye Moore 2:19
Oh, bake cookies. I know. Last week I made Thin Mints. It’s fabulous, darling.
Christy Fechser 2:31
That’s amazing. Yeah, I actually every once in a while, you know, the really kind of decorative fun sugar cookies that have like the they like do them like fancy like, that’s what I like to do when I have a wild moment where I want to just kind of go and bake. That’s what I usually turn to. So I, I get your cookie fascination. Okay, awesome. So we are going to jump into self awareness and kind of what it is, let’s actually start there, in your opinion, and in your life. So you’ve you’ve gone the gamut, right? Which is true for a lot of coaches who come to a specialty of a topic that they talk about, they got there because they lived a life that wasn’t that and they’re like, I’m not doing this anymore. And they told me like change it around, which is what you did in your case. And so what brought you to self awareness that can help other people understand in their life, how they can come to self awareness.
Marnye Moore 3:29
Okay, so what brought me to it was an absolute complete total boredom was a life that was just perfectly fine. I had a good job, I had a nice home, I had friends family. And I was told that I should just be quite grateful for what I had, because so many people didn’t and it should be good enough. I mean, after all, everything was comfortable. And I just had this longing to do something else. And I wanted to be promoted in my job. And my boss was like, but no, I need you right here just to keep doing what you’re doing, what would I do? And I just couldn’t stand it. So what brought me to it was I hired my own coach just on a whim. And really, and truly, I can’t say it was anything more than that. It was just a whim. And all of a sudden, it was like, Well, I can do more. Oh my gosh. And then as you start exploring that and you start thinking about it, if you have any kind of a spiritual thoughts, if you have a want or a dream or something in your heart that says go for more, that was probably put there by God and asked you to pursue that in some way, shape or form. And you owe it to your Creator, call it universe source Spirit, God grand overall design, however you want to look at that. This energy that ties us all together, has given you some sort of an inspiration, and it’s for you to pursue and if you got what it is. And when I started realizing that and started reading books that have been around for decades about this, and they are echoing all the same things that you need to pursue that, I started realizing that I wanted more. And then I had to realize that I needed permission from me to move forward. And in recognizing that I wanted to move forward. I had to recognize what I was feeling. And it’s in that feeling that you become self aware, you start acknowledging what it is that you feel, you forgive yourself, your transgressions. Your life, you take responsibility for your life. And then you start moving forward in baby steps and baby steps. And that’s what my coach, that’s where my coach came in. She held me accountable, she kicked me in the fanny a few times. She said, I don’t want to talk to you until you get this done. You tell me you’re gonna do it. You’re not You’re not doing it. Don’t call me until you get it done. And we just went through this process and unbecoming that. I realized that I’m responsible for me. I can’t blame it on anyone else. I let life happen. And I was no longer content with that. I wanted to create a life by design.
Christy Fechser 6:24
And I love every bit of that. Oh my gosh, yes, amen. Amen. And amen to everything you just said, I love that you hired a coach on a whim. That was a brilliant, just like a nudge in the right direction. Now, obviously, because it like radically opened up your mind to this realization that there was something more and that you were just letting life happen. And so many people do, they just let life happen. It just, it’s like they have this idea that they are supposed to, you know, I mean, for those of us who graduate from high school, maybe do a little bit of college, the destination is to get a good job, you know, maybe get married, maybe have a home, you know, that kind of stuff. But when you achieve those things, like you just go into autopilot.
Marnye Moore 7:13
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. You go onto autopilot, you get in the habit, everything is a habit, okay. 98% of what we do on a day to day from moment to moment is habit. We know how to get up in the morning, we know how to fix breakfast, we know how to tie our shoes, we know how to go to work, we know how to wipe a runny nose, we know how to pack a lunch, we know how to do those things. These are all habits. Being on time as a habit being late as a habit saving money, it’s a habit being broke, it’s a habit. These are all habits. And we get in the habit of just living our life from day to day, without thought, without purpose. And without control. Now plenty of people will say my purpose or my children, no, it’s not. Your kids are great. They’re wonderful. And they’re a great extension of you. But your purpose is to fulfill those dreams in your heart. And sometimes when we get to what we thought that dream was, and we look around, and we go, this is not what the brochure said it was going to be, I need to rethink this, or I need to do something different. So I talked to people about that moment of self awareness of going, this is not what I expected it, this is not what I wanted it to be. And that’s when you start going, Okay, I have to rethink this. And sometimes you have a good cry, you eat a box of cookies, or a pint of ice cream. And you get a hold of yourself and okay, you start thinking about what it is you want to do. And you start paying attention to what you’re thinking about. You think about what you’re thinking about. Because what you’re thinking about, you’re gonna manifest in your life, you’re going to bring that to you, you’re going to start pursuing those opportunities. So maybe you have to make a change doesn’t mean you scrap everything, but you start moving the road a different way, rather than just doing as you’ve always done, because that’s what you’ve always done. You start leaning to the right, start taking a different step. Yeah.
Christy Fechser 9:12
One of the things that I really appreciated about your story when we talked before, um, you talked about golden handcuffs and about what that you know, kind of looks like and I think that for a lot of people, they Well, let me back up. When you’re talking about women. I know they say that their purpose is their children. I had on a guest recently Dr. Or Lena Carrick and she was talking my favorite quote that I have heard of late is from her and is that the best thing that you can give to your kids is your own happiness. And the second best thing is vegetables. Isn’t it brilliant? Great. I know the first time I saw that, I was like, Oh my gosh, yes,
Marnye Moore 9:58
that’s right. That’s the one you want to needlepoint on the pillow, right?
Christy Fechser 10:02
The thing about that, though, is that you can even, you can take that one step further and say the best thing that you can give to those around you is your own happiness. And I think that for moms, because becoming a mother is such a huge undertaking, and because you really live, eat, breathe, sleep that baby for a time, and you’re responsible for teaching them and caring for them and all of those things, you lose your identity in them. And look, this can happen in marriage, though, too. This doesn’t just happen in children, this can happen in marriage. And we know when we, when we sign on to be a wife, or we sign on to be a mom, or we sign on to be an employee, or we signed on to be the CEO, or whatever it is, right. Like whatever thing it is that we identify ourselves as we never unsigned up to be ourselves ever, we are still in here, we are still there, we still matter in different ways. And I think that for a lot of people, they get stuck in that golden handcuffs thing, which you’ve kind of touched on a little bit earlier on. But let’s, let’s talk about that for a minute what golden handcuffs is, and how you become aware of what’s happening, and how to kind of make that shift that you were talking about of making that journey down that path to some, you know, to a different destination.
Marnye Moore 11:20
So golden handcuffs are when you’re stuck in a really good place, that you’re handcuffed to a job, the paycheck is good, the benefits are good, it’s all good. But it’s totally unfulfilling your hand, it’s a golden, their golden handcuffs. And so you’re stuck. And it’s like, how do I get out of this? Or how do I change this without letting go? The all of these perks and benefits that I have? And it’s hard, and it’s scary. And what if you let down somebody who’s important to you, or what if somebody tells you that you’re important to them, and you’re going to let them down, you have to go through all of those feelings and recognize that the handcuffs are locked, because you chose to lock them, you chose to be part, you know, you, you allowed yourself to just start living life by default. It’s easy to do, there’s no fault in it. I mean, we we have to do what we have to do when we do it. And so we just continue moving forward. But what if you took the time to pump the brakes, slow down and think about what it is that you want? How do you want to be treated, so how you treat yourself is one, that’s how other people are going to treat you. So if you treat yourself with kindness and respect, that’s how other people will treat you. And you lead children by example, children do as you do. And so we need to recognize what it is that that we want to do. So if we get to that point where life is just not what it’s supposed to be. And it’s been that are what we want it to be. And it’s been that way for a while, then we need to start, stop and take a self awareness test, start pulsing what it is that we really want, what it is we’re thinking about, and maybe open ourselves up to opportunities, there’s opportunities all around us, we just don’t realize it until we’re looking for it. You know, you want a new red car, there’s never a red car on the road until the day after you buy the red car. And then every other car is read. There’s just the way that it is and the brain works that way. And you need to start, you need to give yourself permission. And that’s where it all starts, starts take responsibility for who you were and who you are and who you want to be. Okay, those are the things who you were, this just brought you to this point, and it will take you no further until you change something. Yeah. And who do you want to be? Can you see yourself holding the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow? And if you can, then we need to start. You need to start acting as that person being that person and just start thinking like that person. What is that person going to think, say and do and start bringing yourself to that point, Neville Goddard has a book called the wish fulfilled written back in the 30s. I think it’s the 30s anyway.
And it is the wish fulfilled and it’s about seeing yourself in that place. And being in that place and living from that success, knowing that you’re destined for it. And you start changing that direction, you start changing the way that you behave toward other people, how you behave towards yourself, and that’s where it begins. Who do you think you are, and you can let those handcuffs go. And it doesn’t mean that it’s not going to be painful. There’s going to be bumps in the road and I tell everybody, this the minute you change your mind and you make a committed decision to yourself to do something new. There’s going to be a problem, expect it. And if you can expect it, you can deal with it. You can stand up, brush yourself off and continue moving forward. That’s what you need to do. And that’s that energy thing. We’re talking about manifestation and manifesting is just changing your mind energies so that you are focused on what it is that you want, how it is that you’re gonna get it. And Steve Harvey said that God gave you that vision to explore, he didn’t give it to your family and friends. So when they hear it, they won’t understand it. And they won’t even understand why you want it. Because God didn’t give it to them, he gave it to you. And it’s your job to pursue that your purpose in this world is to develop and become as much as you can. Because the more that you develop yourself, the more that you can give to others, the more that you can lead by example, the more that you can contribute financially, emotionally and spiritually. That’s why we’re here is to share this life is to become all that we can. And money is not a bad thing, folks, it is a tool, and you have to spend it, if you want it to work. If you put it under your mattress, it is never going to do a thing. If you want to live a better life, you’re going to have to spend it, invest it and use it and just know that you’re going to make more. What is your vision for your life? What is that I want multiple sources of passive income. I want to be able to hire the housekeeper and the gardener. That’s what I want to go to Tuscany, and maybe Athens. That sounds like fun. Money is a tool, but how am I going to make that happen? What’s that gonna look like? Am I going to design a career? That allows me to work from anywhere? Yeah, am I going to make adjustments that pay me money? You know, is it going to be a perfect road? Oh, no. I have so many skin knees. Oh, my heaven. Yeah.
Christy Fechser 16:51
Oh, so many things that you said in there, I want to talk first about the way that you you know, the way that you treat yourself as the way that others will treat you and one of the biggest my like, number one core philosophy, the thing that I teach other people I teach my children is that you teach people how to treat you. And and as a true, and if you get into a place, you know, in the context of the golden handcuffs. If you get into a place where you are at the mercy of somebody else, because of money or because of insurance benefits, or because of you know, whatever it is your two week vacation a year, and you’re giving up that nudge, you know that you talk about that God, God is nudging you in a different direction, if you are giving up that nudge in order to keep those benefits, that is definitely a sign of golden handcuffs that you are losing out on something that is out there that has greater potential to change your life. And and again, it isn’t always easy. It is a journey. And a lot of times we’re tested to see how bad we want it and how committed we are to it, you know, and that’s why there, that’s why there are trials that come along. And oftentimes in our regular life, there aren’t a whole lot of bumps along the way, because we’re just on autopilot. There’s nothing that we’re trying to overcome or push against or to create. And in the creation process, there’s always going to be things that are going to hit you head on. But I also loved what you said about creating a life that is the one that you know you’re doing it intentionally you’re manifesting it intentionally is the thing that you actually want to be living. And so many people as children, we think of all these things that we want to do when we get older, we want to travel and we want to be an astronaut, and we want to you know, whatever. And then we get into high school and you know, they start talking about you know, getting real about your life getting serious and you know, putting away basically your child has dreams, and focusing on creating that, you know, stability in your life. And so then that becomes the aim is the stability, and then you get stability and you forget you even had dreams, and hopes and wishes. And when a wild nudge comes up that says Quit your job and go pursue a different career. It’s like, no, that’s not stable. This is stable. That was the aim of the game. And I’m here. And I just think that there’s so many people who lose out on personal growth, because they refuse to be aware enough of themselves and their own intuition and their own needs and desires. They just shut everything else out. There’s a book, two books I really love, which are going to be polar opposite here. One of them is a children’s book and it’s called What do you do with an idea?
Marnye Moore 19:43
I have that upstairs? One of my favorite books. I love it. Love it.
Christy Fechser 19:50
It’s so cute. And I love the premise of it that is basically like when you have an idea you need to feed it and protect it and He’s, like, hold it. And it’s just your idea. And it doesn’t need to be shared with anybody else, because they’re not going to understand it, like what you were saying about other people aren’t going to understand your knowledge, they’re not going to understand that prompting that you’re getting. And they don’t need to, you need to be able to hold this idea until it is a thing that is like a force to be reckoned with. And then it doesn’t matter what anybody else says, right? Like, if you planned and prepared and fed it and played with it, and you know, like, just protected this idea. At some point, it’s going to be big enough that it doesn’t matter what anybody else says, The other book that I really love is thinking Grow Rich, of course, it’s, it’s something that I am currently going through again, and underlining and taking notes, and just really like getting centered on its principles. And, and the whole idea is that what we think about we can bring about into our own lives. And I love that concept of that, you know, and this concept was presented to me decades ago. But I love that reminder that we can literally create our lives to be whatever we want them to be.
So in it kind of, I guess down that vein of thought in creating our own lives to be what we want them to be. And obviously, self awareness is like the hugest aspect of that first, it has to be the thing that we that we know who we are, that we spend time on introspection that we recognize what lights us up, what such shuts us down, what drains our energy, what gives us energy, what you know, triggers us what calms us, like, we have to know ourselves first, before we can ever create the kind of, you know, the life that we really want to be living. So what like tips would you give to people on like, the best ways to create self awareness, to be able to then go down this path that you’re talking about of creating this life that we really want to be living?
Marnye Moore 21:59
Okay, so that’s a big biggie. So I would say, the beginning starts with a self awareness. Okay, so let me qualify a couple of things. When we seek out therapy, we’re talking about healing past, healing the past. And when we seek out coaching, we’re talking about designing a life, we’re talking about living on purpose, and being purposeful, and intentional and intentional, about what it is that we want and what it is that we’re going to do and how we’re going to get there. That’s, that’s what that is. And when you start doing that, where you begin is taking responsibility for what you’ve done, who you are, and who you want to be. Okay, and when you can get when you can do that. And it’s not the easiest thing. Well, so and so said I had to Well, I had to do it, because it would make him happy. Well, I had to do it because it was, this is what was expected. Timeout Nobody puts, nobody held you up. You did that all on your own. It was uncomfortable, somebody made you feel bad. Accept responsibility for those things, and go, Okay, eat the cookies, eat the ice cream and have a good cry. And now we’re ready. And that’s where you start with your self awareness. And then you need some sort of a goal, even if it’s clamor. Because if you have nowhere to go, then any direction will be fine. But if that’s what you’ve been, that’s, that’s not what you want to do anymore. So now we need to do something different. So you need to know what it is, you have to find a destination. So those those are vision boards, those are goal setting, those are those things. One of the vision boards, I recommend it to somebody.
I have millions of post it notes, all different colors everywhere. Right? Okay, so you just buy in by the handful? Yeah, I’ve got hundreds. Okay, so anyway. So what you do is anytime you get an inspiration, you go, Oh, new captain, stick that on a poster board. And you can have a vision board of all of your post it notes, yep, in different colors, so that you remember what it is that you’re being inspired by. And you’re gonna find one that kind of keeps coming to the surface, and you’re gonna pull that one. And then you’re gonna go to Pinterest, and start looking for pictures and images that make you feel good. And that’s what you’re gonna do, you’re gonna start thinking about this thing, because it’s going to make you feel good. And when you feel good about it, you’re going to embrace that in your subconscious. And you’re just going to start moving toward it. It’s going to allow that idea to become so exciting and so big that you just can’t help but do it. And all of your friends and neighbors are going to go running every time they see you because they don’t want to hear about it one more time. That’s when it’s going to break open. So you just start moving forward and you start taking those steps. And as you start taking those steps, you become more self aware because new emotions are going to come to the surface, something’s gonna bug you, you’re gonna be uncomfortable. And I want to ask you to stop and figure out why you believe what it is that you believe. And does it still serve you? Your parents did the very best that they could they gave you their beliefs, they gave you their alphabets, they gave you their conditioning, and they said, This is what we know. We need you to do this, please. And so you just get in the habit of doing it. But now that you’re an adult, and you’re becoming self aware, stop, does this still work? Does it still resonate? Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is not a horror story, folks. It’s not completely different. Did I grew up thinking it was a scary book? Sure. It’s not. And I thought life is that way. It isn’t always what you were told it was? Yes, take the time to figure that out for yourself. And as you start doing that, so then you understand what it is you’ve been doing and why you’re not moving forward, what you’re doing today will only get you to today, do you want to do something different tomorrow, you’re going to have to do something different today. And it’s going to be awkward, but we only change one or two things at a time. Right? We rewrite the code. nature abhors a vacuum. So you can’t just let a bad habit go or let a non productive activity go, you got to put something in there and fill that void. So that you can move forward. And you start thinking about it. And you use your memories to say, to analyze what happened, but not to predict what will happen. You use your your reasoning mind to say you know what this could change. You know what, I saw somebody else do this, I know I can do that, too. If you’ve seen it before you have proof positive that you can do it to move forward, take those baby steps, find somebody to hold you accountable. Find somebody who’s going to ask high flame questions that make you really look at yourself, and pay attention to what it is that you’re paying attention to get to your beliefs say, do they still serve you, your parents did the best that they could. But now it’s time for you to be the adult. And to set your own beliefs and your own course and your own path. And to create that amazing thing. Earl Nightingale said if you walk into a room and everybody’s going one way, go the other way, 90 times, and I think nine times out of 100 it’s going to be better than what everyone else is doing. What do you want to do? explore that? Oh, please don’t let your inspiration die. Enjoy it. Follow it.
Christy Fechser 27:39
Oh my gosh, it’s incredible to me. Every once in a while you have a conversation with somebody and they speak the words that are in your head and that you’ve journaled about and that you like profess and that are very, you know, true to you as well. And everything you just said, I’m like, yep, yep. Yes, I love everything that you talk about. And I, I have a course and lots of is, you know, it’s about the goal, setting the visions and the self awareness you want to become and all of that kind of stuff. You know, I mean, it’s just, and I love that that’s what you coach about, I love that you have taken the life that you lived, and turned it into this one. And I think that a lot of people in their lives think I can’t do something different, because I don’t have the skills to get from this place to that place. And in our previous conversation we had talked about, you know, a skill set and how you can take skills from a previous life and use them in your new life that it isn’t all for naught. You know, I mean, so for example, when I very first, my husband and I had one of our first successful businesses was in web development. And we you know, it was really great. It wasn’t really my thing, it was his thing, but he wasn’t really like business savvy. And so I jumped in to help him run the business and, you know, learn some HTML along the way and helped him with that kind of stuff. And then years went by add a new business opportunity fell into my lap. And it was like everything, even though they were radically different. I mean, one was like web development, and one was like wellness in the network marketing industry totally like polar opposites, right. But I was able to take my skills from this one. And my business here flourished because I had these under my belt and now being able to go from that position and coaching women on their health and on starting their own businesses and that kind of stuff. And now moving it into a totally different realm. It it all helps like it builds upon each other your experiences are there to give you the ability kind of tools in your tool belt to be able to move forward. So just wanted you to be able to talk for a second about what that is like in applying skills kind of give a an I know I just gave my own personal example but I would love for you to to talk on that a little bit, and how people can, you know, recognize what some of those things are, and maybe how they can apply them how they can get over that mentality that I don’t have the thing to do the thing I want to do, how do you go from, you know, one industry to another industry? How do you change careers? Basically,
Marnye Moore 30:18
yeah, I’ll see if I can tackle that. I spent 25 years as an administrative assistant and executive assistant filing, typing, answering the phone, watering the plants, picking up all the pieces, and creating processes and procedures, so that the office worked. That’s what I did. I did a lot of it. My last 17 years, I was an executive assistant to a couple of VPS. And they were really pretty easy to work with, but they were big personalities. And so there was something that came with that, right, you learn patience, you learn to to pick and choose your words, you learn to have things at the ready, you learn to have options and opportunities. Okay, fast forward. Now I’m doing this coaching, you know, did you know that success is a system, that you can use those same systems, because processes and procedures, skills, and design a course that you can start applying these things? And you never know, until you start? And somebody says, Well, can you do this? You know what probably, there’s a statistic that says that when men apply for a job, they have maybe 60% of the experience or skill set, and they just assume that they’ll pick up the rest along the way. Women won’t apply unless they have 80 to 90%. You don’t need to know, interesting, you can keep going, just do it. Just try it. You know what, if you screw it up big deal, there’s nothing that can’t be fixed? Nothing that can’t be changed. It’s totally okay. Just try. And it’s as you start asking questions. And one of the things I would say is that we all have weaknesses in this world, I don’t do bookkeeping, I don’t like keeping a checking account. There’s a number of things I don’t like doing. And you know what, it’s okay. And I don’t do my own taxes. It’s okay. Right. So what you do is you acknowledge it, recognize it, and hire somebody else to do it, you find the help, that’s gonna get you over that hurdle. There’s nothing that you can’t learn if you need to. But if it is not in your strong suit, it’s okay. It doesn’t mean that that door is closed, it just means that that aspect is not yours. And you’re going to you’re going to find another way to do it. You can take these skills as a mom. I used to work with a woman doing contract negotiation, and then the world shut down, right? And so we were doing the same thing from home. And I called her I said, So how are things what’s going on? And she said, You know, it’s all fine. She said, I spend most of my days trying to mediate arguments between toddlers. And I said, so not much difference in this board room that we’ve been working in. She was like, You know what, you’re totally right. They’re fighting over a sippy cup. It doesn’t matter why no one needs it to be blue, and the other one needs it to be green. And they both have to have the orange one. And so you’re just gonna figure it out. You just don’t know until you try. I took my processes and procedures and apply them to this. I found a program thinking Grow Rich, hey, that it works. You see, you begin. And we all have these skills within us to solve problems to achieve goals. You just don’t realize it, you’ve been doing all of this unconsciously, all of your life, you just don’t realize it. Your kid that wants and will have that new toy, and that is all there is to it. They’re gonna have a temper tantrum, they’re gonna grow up with it, they’re gonna throw everything else outside because they have got to have that new toy, they get committed decision, they get that they are going to go the distance, they get that they’re going to go the extra mile until they get exactly what they want. And you are going to lay out a plan on a map. That’s okay, fine. This is what you’re going to do. If that’s what you have to add, then this is what you’re gonna do. And you lay it out. But you do these things. You don’t even know it. So what if I helped you to get focused on what it is that you already do? So that you can go oh, my gosh, you mean that’s all I have to do to get this? All I have to do to lose the weight? All I have to do to acquire a new job. And it’s not going to be easy. There’s going to be bumps and bruises. That’s okay. That’s the fun of it. And as you get to each goal, you’re gonna go okay, this is now too small. I gotta be bigger dream. And let’s go and do it one more time. Yeah,
Christy Fechser 35:04
I think that I love all of that. And I think that the biggest key aspect of accomplishing things and going after new things is that a lot of times people get caught up in the end goal. And then they get post goal burnout or post goal depression. And I think that the best part of goal setting is actually being attached to progress, rather than to the goal itself, because it is in the progress, because then when those bumps and bruises come along, it’s like, oh, this is just part of the process. Yeah, I know, when the Triumph comes, oh, this is part of the process, when you have those like lightning moments where you’re like, oh, my gosh, it all makes sense. Now, it’s part of the process. And so when you get to those goals, and you’re like, Okay, now what, it’s just part of the process, instead of you feeling like, oh, I bought the house, I got the job. Now I’m stable, and I’m gonna coast through the rest of our life, right? Like, it’s about the process, it’s about the journey of growth and becoming the people that we want to be, instead of acquiring the things that we want, it’s about who we’re becoming in the process of all of it. And if that’s our first and primary goal, then all of the other things are just like frosting, you know, it’s just the bonus things. So, okay, I love that, Marnie, that was all amazing. And I know we could seriously go on and on and on and on. And I’m going to cut us off because there’s only so much you can listen to in a podcast in one sitting. And there’s only really so much you can digest and implement. That’s the biggest thing is that I don’t want to like Firehose in a way that people can’t actually implement. And I love the things that you talked about. In creating self awareness, and in looking at where you are really at in your life, and where you really want to be, and who you really want to be, and then taking steps towards that. And I love that you have been there and done that. And now you’re coaching other people on how they can do that for themselves. So where can people find you to be able to get in touch with you, if they were interested in having you kind of coach them down that path?
Marnye Moore 37:22
I would love to talk to anybody. I asked people to find me on Facebook and Instagram. And I know it sounds kind of silly, but it works. You’re already there. Yes, nothing extra to do just message me. I’m at Envision results. A and V I S I O N results, and on Facebook and on Instagram. And you can find me at learning more on it on Facebook as well. And I messaged me, what do you want to talk about? Let’s just start talking. And you might find that just having an outside disinterested person talk to you might help you just get over that hurdle enough to start moving down the road and not to start doing something like I said, I hired a coach on a whim. Yeah. And it worked out to be the best thing because all of a sudden, I realized, you know, there are opportunities out there that I have just been let go letting go. And I had to have a anyway, you just have to accept that you’ve made mistakes. And as you become self aware, you’re gonna go Oh, god, oh, that was a bad decision. Oh, well, let’s pick it up and move on. There is a reason that that’s there. And that’s what we’re gonna do. So that’s what I asked people to do. If anyone is interested on the third week of this month, and I don’t know the dates off the top of my head, I want to say it’s like 1920 or something 1819 20. I’ll be holding a masterclass on Facebook. And I’m going to be talking about exactly this self awareness, you asked me to focus on self awareness. And so I made that the project the Yeah, at night team, I think it’ll be 18 or 19. I usually do it on one day. And then I repeat on the second day, so that people can ask questions or think about or if I’ve asked them to journal, or to think about what they’re doing. Oh, let me say this one thing, if you’re journaling, and people are like, what do I how do I journal? I don’t know how to journal. I don’t know how to meditate. But I don’t know how to journal. Is it a Dear Diary, it’s not your diary. It’s I’m asking you to focus on what it is you’re thinking about. That’s what journaling is all about. Getting focused. Anyway, the third week of the month, the 18th and the 19th. I’ll be having a class and we’re going to be talking about self awareness. who you were, who you are and who you want to be and exploring those things. And it’ll last about 30 minutes, 40 minutes through great way to kind of get to know who I am and build that know like and draft and at Envision results on Facebook and Instagram. I will respond.
Christy Fechser 39:46
perfect, perfect. So I will I’ll make sure that that information is in the show notes and for anybody who’s listening to this after this particular self awareness masterclass is going to be happening. You do Have these classes the third week of every month, so they can still tune in to whatever your topic is for that month. So okay, brilliant. Absolutely. Thank you for coming. And for having me. This is great. Yes, it really was. It really, really was. And I love everything that you talked about. And I just give it a hearty, amen. I know that what you’re teaching is true. And I love again, that you’re showing up in that way and guiding other people down that path. I think that everybody can use a good coach a good person in their corner to give them that outside, you know, kind of third party opinion and also that nudge in the right direction.
Marnye Moore 40:36
We can all benefit from that. So we all need it. We all need that that person over there to say, okay, look, I’m not your friend. This is what you need to hear.
Christy Fechser 40:45
I’m not gonna do this for you. Yes, sir. It’s awesome. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you.